I do my best crying in the shower. Anyone else? Like, the real gnarly ugly cry, snot dripping out of my nose, blurred vision and deep (but silent, because I don’t want anyone to know i’m crying) groan cries.

Often, when I pull back the layers of what i’m actually crying about, it almost always comes right down to fear.

I’m afraid.

I’m afraid that I missed my time, i’m afraid of sickness, i’m afraid my kids won’t live for Jesus, i’m afraid of lack, i’m afraid of rejection, and i’m afraid of my world getting rocked. To name a few…

A few months ago I had really vivid dream of seeing a little red sparrow swoop down into the foundation of this tall strong brick building. There was an opening in the foundation where he nestled in, and found protection and food. I woke up knowing that God was reminding me that He is my foundation and in Him, I have all that I need.

So why am I still afraid?

Back to crying in the shower. Today was a cry day; I could feel it before I even turned the water on. I was feeling afraid today - fears taunting me and playing in the background of my mind. The tears started welling up and almost immediately and out of nowhere, a song popped in my head that I hadn’t heard since I was a teenager. I completely forgot about this song and the artist. So I KNOW it was Dad showing up in a moment where I needed rest and reprieve from fear.

“Psalm 91” by Lincoln Brewster. I was 14 years old when I heard this song and it became my anthem. I’d listen to it every single day - because at 14, I was already very familiar with fear.

There must have been a reason God put this song and this bible chapter in my heart, 24 years later. I believe it is the remedy for the sickness of fear. It is the blueprint and the answer to overcoming it.

Psalm 91 - I beg you to go read this chapter today.

“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty”

A shelter is a place giving temporary protection from bad weather or danger.” He told me that bad weather and danger is temporary.

Right now as I type, I get the picture of a father shielding his child from a hail storm, using his body as a cover to protect them from getting hit. That closeness allows for the child to hear his father tell him in his ear “its ok, its going to be ok. It’s almost over. Just stay right here and i’ll keep you safe”. In that place of shelter, the child gets to live and rest in the protection of their dad.

If the child is unsheltered and left open to the elements, he will get pelted, torn and bruised by the hail. He lives open to the terrors by night and arrows that fly by day.

We get to choose where to live. And Dad invites us to curl up in his arms, as he uses his body to shield us from temporary dangers and attacks of life.

And he gives you this promise further down in verse nine. “If you make the LORD your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home. For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go. They will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.

Verse 14: The Lord says, I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation”.

I’m not saying there won’t be times we don’t FEEL afraid, but I believe this chapter is the answer on how we can stop LIVING in a state of constant fear - open to the elements and the terrors of life.

He invites us to take shelter where we can hear him whisper to our hearts: it’s ok, its going to be ok. It’s almost over. Just stay right here and i’ll keep you safe”.

And now excuse me, while I go weep again for the second time today.

Live well friends.

xo,

Jess